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Scientists call it “negative calorie food.” I call it celery’s evil plot. Imagine a vegetable so cunning that it convinces you to eat it, then steals more energy than it gives. That’s celery.
Your body burns calories chewing its fibrous stalks, pumping stomach acid, and powering enzymes. By the time digestion is done, celery has robbed you blind. It’s the only vegetable that turns lunch into a metabolic bank heist.
So why does celery kill? Not with poison, but with paperwork. Your cells file energy expenses, your mitochondria groan, and your calorie balance slips into the red. Celery is proof that sometimes the deadliest weapon in nature is… fiber.
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